All's Not Fair in Love
by NeeveBrody
Summary: He watches McKay struggle to raise his hand. Sheppard reaches out and takes it and suddenly Ronon realizes he's witnessing something private, so much so he wants to turn away, but something about the scene makes it impossible. Slash: McKay/Sheppard


**All's Not Fair in Love**

Clouds of infinitely fine dust swirl in the heavy air like cream in a cup of coffee. Tiny insects of grit buzz around him, invading his eyes, ears and nose and he spits them out when they crunch between his teeth. The tips of Ronon's fingers are nearly shredded from prying away the timbers and jagged rocks. Blood stains the ones he's unable to move.

He freed McKay first and it seems he's been scrabbling at this wall for hours, when it's only been minutes. Long, time-frozen minutes. Minutes they don't have. Minutes he can't afford to waste.

What the hole gains in size, it lacks in depth, and Ronon knows McKay's only hope lies in his ability to get some daylight into the small space. He hasn't prayed to the Satedan gods in many years, but as he digs into the rubble that separates his team from life, his lips move silently, sending up McKay's name for intervention.

He senses a ghostly presence at his side and turns to find Teyla reaching out for him.

"Can't stop," he says, turning back to the wall, shrugging off the faint touch on his bare back.

"Ronon, please. Look at your hands. Major Lorne and his men are working from the other side. You have done all you can."

He stops and turns to her, sucking in the dust and grit laden air like some kind of mechanical engine. He hopes that's true. They were just able to get a scattered message off before the cave-in. With a sigh of almost resignation, he gives in to her pleading eyes and lowers his hands, but he does not look at them. There's no pain anymore, only numbness.

He stumbles backwards a few steps and bends forward, trying to find some clean air. He wants to curse the wall. He's taking this personally and if it was any decent kind of enemy, the kind that played fair, he'd just blast the damn thing into pebbles. But nature is rarely fair, and just like any other enemy, this one wants to get the best of him, wants to take his friend away from him and he feels powerless to stop it.

Teyla hands over a canteen and as he takes it, he can hear McKay. The breath rattles out of his lungs like seeds shaken in a hollow gourd, like the ones the elders used long ago for the Satedan rites.

He lifts the canteen to his cracked lips, ignoring the sting but welcoming the wetness. Passing it back, he jerks his head to the area just a few feet behind them. "How is he?"

She turns in that direction. "I do not know. He is still alive, but he fades in and out of consciousness and when he is awake he says he is cold."

Ronon looks over. He's already given up his vest and shirt to cover McKay. It must be bad, because the air in the pinched off square of tunnel they occupy is warm and getting warmer, the grime and grit glued to his skin by a sheen of sweat.

McKay lies on the ground among splintered timbers and small boulders. Sheppard's already checked him over, said there didn't appear to be any spinal injury, but they all know at least one of his legs is broken. Bright red shines like a beacon through the haze, seeping through the shirt Sheppard used to try and stop the bleeding in Rodney's stomach. Sheppard and Teyla had taken turns applying pressure, but something's set it off again. Rodney hasn't moved much on his own, just to loll his head back and forth or grasp for someone's hand.

Right now, he's quiet and still, except for the harsh sound of each breath as it fills the air. Sheppard's quiet too, pacing at McKay's feet.

All of a sudden, Rodney's breath catches and he begins to cough, a dry wracking that resonates deep in Ronon's chest. McKay's coming around again and Teyla rushes to his side with the canteen. Sheppard cradles Rodney's head as she holds the water to McKay's lips.

McKay grabs for Sheppard's hand as John eases him back down and he's looking at Sheppard as if he has real recognition this time.

"Why—why are you here? The Cedarans, we—you have to get them out." McKay's voice is breathless and hollow. It contains none of its usual bite or strength. If Ronon hadn't been looking at him, it could have been someone else's voice entirely. "A'right, Sheppard? I'm a'right. You need—the Cedarans, go. Teyla's here. Teyla? Teyla?"

"I am right here, Rodney." He starts to say something and then closes his eyes. She looks at John. "It is okay. He has only lost consciousness again."

Sheppard rises and continues his pacing, raking his hand back and forth through his hair. Ronon doesn't know very much about their medicine or the miracles it's supposed to do, but he's seen the same shaking and heard that same rattling breath too many times. He turns back to work on the wall.

After a few moments, Rodney cries out again. Ronon hears his name and turns to see Rodney looking in his direction, though he doesn't know if McKay can actually see him. He goes over and squats down next to him.

Rodney's eyes try to focus and he attempts a bit of a smile. "Hey, big guy," he says and points to Sheppard. "Tell him? You too—go. Kids, they—you and Sheppard need to go—"

Laying his catcher's mitt-sized hand on Rodney's shoulder, Ronon tries to make him understand. "We got 'em all out, McKay, remember? They're all safe."

Rodney starts to shake his head.

"Rodney." Teyla's voice is calm and soothing. "There has been a cave-in of the tunnel. We are trapped here and you are injured, but Major Lorne and his men are working to reach us and I am sure they have called for Doctor Beckett." She smoothes her hand across his temple. "Do you understand?"

He nods. "Sheppard? 'm injured?"

Ronon stands as Sheppard kneels. "That's right, buddy, but you're gonna be all right. How do you feel, still cold?"

Rodney turns slowly to Sheppard. "Why are you still here—told you 'm fine. The Cedarans, they need you, they can't—it's okay, you can go, 'm fine… not like we'll never see each other again."

"Rodney, listen to me, we're trapped," John says more forcefully. "I—we can't get out. The Cedarans are safe."

"Trapped?"

"Yeah, but Carson and Lorne are just outside—they're on their way. Okay, Rodney? They'll be here soon and we'll get you out of here."

"Trapped," Rodney repeats and the smallness of his voice catches Ronon's breath.

Teyla stands and turns toward Ronon. Her eyes have seen warriors fall too. It's a grave look she gives him, a look that does not sugarcoat. The sound of Rodney's voice makes her look away.

"Oh… then just in case…"

He watches McKay struggle to raise his hand. Sheppard reaches out and takes it and suddenly Ronon realizes he's witnessing something private, so much so he wants to turn away, but something about the scene makes it impossible.

"What is it Rodney?"

"…love you." His voice is soft and barely there, but it resounds and reverberates in the small space.

Teyla takes Ronon's hand and buries her face in his side.

"No, Rodney, we are not doing that, okay? Beckett will be here any minute." John pulls Rodney onto his lap, arms crossed around him, holding him like he'll never let go. "You're fine," he whispers, "gonna be fine."

Ronon's head swims like he's been cracked with one of Teyla's bantos sticks. His cheeks burn; his jaw works. He shouldn't be hearing this, this is between Sheppard and McKay, but there's nowhere to go, there's no escape from Rodney's voice.

"Love you… John."

Then he watches in horror as Rodney's eyes close and his whole body seems to go limp.

"McKay! McKay!" Sheppard grabs Rodney's shoulders. The shattered voice explodes inside Ronon's head. "Don't you fucking leave me, McKay!"

Teyla rushes to them but Ronon can't move. He's rooted where he stands by the sound of Sheppard's voice and the pain in his face. Teyla kneels and checks for vitals. Taking John by the shoulders, she turns him so he can see her. "John, listen to me. John! He is still alive—his pulse is weak, but he is still alive, do you hear me? John?"

The long-forgotten war cry tears through his throat like an acid geyser as Ronon attacks the wall again, hands moving at demoniac speed, pulling timbers and rocks away, hurling them aside with superhuman strength. It seems like an eternity, but finally he can hear something other than Teyla trying to calm Sheppard and the blood pulsing in his own head. There's something just on the other side of the wall. His arms throb from his elbows all the way to his fingertips. He sways a bit, watching the debris finally start to crumble as the drone of the mechanical whirring continues on the other side. "They're almost through," he calls back to his teammates.

But he doesn't breathe a sigh of relief until the jackhammer-like blade collapses an opening big enough for Carson to fit through. Ronon flaps at one of the medics as he tries to take a look at his hands and follows Beckett.

From what Ronon can see, Beckett's doing nothing Sheppard hasn't done already, but he's finally able to take a full relaxing breath just because he's here. They'll get McKay back in time – Beckett will fix him.

Carson stands up and motions for the medics then turns to the others. "We need to get him back right away. I can try and stabilize him here," he says, addressing Sheppard. "But I have to say, Colonel, this is gonna be a close one. Until I can get him back, I have no way to assess his internal injuries. It's likely he'll need surgery."

Numbly, Ronon helps lift Rodney onto the field stretcher. The Marines take over and carefully maneuver McKay through the opening in the wall. Now, he steers John and Teyla through the gap, finally filling his lungs with fresh air. It cools his skin as he crosses the threshold from the tomb-like enclosure, leaving chills, or maybe it's more than just the air.

They stand outside the tunnel and watch Beckett and the Marines rush Rodney back to the gate. John's face is stony now, no emotion and he hasn't spoken since they lifted McKay out.

Ronon's shoulder, strong sinew and flesh – painted with a rusty mix of blood, sweat and dust – offers softness, understanding and support from an unlikely source as he curls Sheppard into it, muffling his quiet sobs even as he fights to gulp them down. The sad deep brown of Teyla's eyes reflect the magnitude of the moment. She stretches her arms around both men, then bends her forehead to Sheppard's back.

Teyla offers to do the debriefing, but Elizabeth's already there in the infirmary to meet them as they arrive. She shuttles John aside to talk, leaving Teyla and Ronon to wait for Beckett.

Teyla stays close, as if invisible fetters bind the team together, and Ronon wonders if she feels the void as he does.

"He will be fine, Ronon. They will both be fine," she says twining her arm through his. "You should let someone look at you," she adds.

He shakes his head. "Why didn't they tell me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

He nods in John's direction. "About Sheppard and McKay. They think I wouldn't approve?" He watched Sheppard, trying not to feel hurt. He'd been uncomfortable listening to Rodney confess his love, but only because he felt like an intruder hearing something that wasn't meant for him.

"No, Ronon. It is not that. They have not even told me."

He looks at her. "But you knew… the way you spoke to Sheppard."

"I have had my suspicions for a while now, but they did not tell me. They cannot tell anyone."

"Why?"

Teyla pulls Ronon over to a table where she finds antiseptic, cotton balls and gauze. She begins to clean Ronon's ragged hands. "Can you move all your fingers?" she asks wiping away the dried blood.

"Why can't they tell anyone?"

"It is the military's policy. John is not permitted to be open about his feelings for Rodney. They cannot be together openly. Men and women are not permitted to have… relationships with members of the same sex. If word of their relationship got out, John could lose his command and possibly his commission in the Air Force."

"That's not fair."

The cleaning done, she rubs antibacterial ointment over the jagged cuts. A little smile curls the corner of her full lips. "Ronon, I do not believe it is the military's desire to be fair."

"And they're supposed to be so advanced?"

Teyla chuckles and wraps the gauze around his palm, securing it with a strip of clear adhesive. "Well, we can still hold out hope for them, can we not?"

They both turn around when Carson comes through the doors from the surgery.

Ronon doesn't understand most of what Beckett told them. He's not sure exactly what "touch and go" means, but the news seemed mostly positive. According to Carson, there's still a lot of "waiting and seeing" to be done. He'd finally chased them away from the infirmary, telling them McKay would sleep for a while, promising to let them know the minute anything changes.

Sheppard was allowed to go back through the doors with Beckett, but only for a minute or two. He and Teyla had waited for him and now, sitting together in the mess, Ronon watches Sheppard sip his coffee absently.

He's been around Sheppard long enough to know he's got something to say, but he's holding back. Ronon glances at Teyla.

When Sheppard sets his cup down, she reaches across and takes his arm. "John, the news was very good. Everything will be all right. Maybe you should try and get some sleep. Ronon or I will let you know if—"

"No, no. Thanks, but I don't think I could sleep right now."

"But you must be exhausted."

He looks up. The smile lines on his face are cut a little deeper, his eyes tired. "Listen, guys—about Rodney and—"

"John, you do not have to explain. Ronon and I understand."

Sheppard ducks his head. "It has nothing to do with trust or—it's not like we didn't want to tell you," he says, eyes flickering to Ronon. "We just couldn't."

Teyla squeezes John's arm.

The word _unfair_ rattles around in Ronon's head again, so does the word _dumb_. He doesn't care. Two people who love each other shouldn't have to hide that love – especially from those who care so much for them. He wants to tell Sheppard this, but instead, he reaches over and gives him a tender clap on the back.


End file.
